The Homeschool Journey

When is a Consultant Helpful?

Spring has moved forward rapidly in all her blossoming glory. Aside from my duties as a consultant, homeschooling mother and avid gardener, this time of year also reminds me to take stock of my current homeschooling year and begin to envision an outline for the fall. I thought it might be helpful to readers of the Christopherus blog to review my thoughts about when Waldorf inspired consulting can be most helpful to a family.

New homeschoolers or families switching to Waldorf/Christopherus curriculum

Times of transition in a family’s homeschooling life can be stressful, and it is one area where a consultant can usually be quite helpful. If a family is new to homeschooling a/or transitioning out of another school, there is time required for decompression and establishing a new sense of rhythm to the homeschooling day. A consultant can look at the rough edges in a family’s day and help to create a smoother transition into a more harmonious homeschooling experience. A review of some the key principles of child development and Waldorf educational methods may also be helpful when the job of homeschooling, even when armed with all the excellent Christopherus materials, seems a bit daunting.

Homeschooling multiple age children

One of the most frequent consulting questions I receive is how to work with multiple ages of children. Having come through this educational journey myself with my own five children, I can tell you that it can be done, but it also needs some real sense of organization.  It simply is not possible to follow each syllabus specifically with each child. As a consultant, I work to help families see the flow of the main lessons for the family and where some lessons can be taught jointly, such as a weather unit with a third and sixth grader. Parents will sometimes feel that they are making compromises in the teaching of a particular main lesson. However, there are real rewards in a larger family learning environment. I work to help an individual family see the unique strengths and richness of their life together.

Middle School and High School age children

Donna Simmons has made some excellent rough outlines and booklets available for these adolescent years, but parents often have questions about specific main lesson content, resources, or goals for their children. Since I am currently homeschooling a 6^th grader full time and a 9^th grader part time, I enjoy sharing my curriculum ideas and discoveries for this age group. I work to tailor my consulting advice to focus on developing the skills and educational confidence of the adolescent. When the homeschooling curriculum is tailored to the educational needs and growing edges of the individual child, the often challenging passageway of adolescence becomes a bit easier. This is a maturing time for both parent and child. One of my frequent recommendations for this age group is to gradually get out into the community for activities, including public service and possible internships with a mentor.

Whenever homeschooling feels “stuck”

Occasionally I will receive a “Help, I’m stuck!!!” title in an email from a client. Sometimes getting unstuck is as simple as providing some creative assistance in completing a tougher main lesson. But sometimes deeper concerns about homeschooling need to be addressed. A consultant can help a family free up those stuck moments in the homeschooling journey.

I encourage you to do some fresh envisioning of your homeschooling journey this spring and know that I am happy to help if you need me. A special thank-you to all the homeschooling families that I have had the privilege to assist this academic year!

Warm regards,

Barbara Benson - Christopherus Consultant

 

Barbara Benson is the mother of five homeschooled children, the youngest of whom is currently (2011) a sixth grader. Barbara has had a long and fruitful relationship to Waldorf education, as she has sought to adapt it to her home and to the needs of her very different children - who include a pair of twins and two girls adopted from China. She has worked with Rahima Baldwin and Barbara Dewey. She is also very involved in the general homeschooling scene, and has worked as a volunteer homeschooling liaison for the state of Indiana. You can read more about  Barbara and our consulting services here.

 

Knitting Project - Cabled Headband

Here is a sweet little knitting project from Lisa Ashley of Ewetopia Fiber Shop, which she co-owns with her daughter Kathryn, here in Viroqua, Wisconsin. The warm and lovely Ewetopia shop has become quite the social hub for knitters of all ages around these parts.

Lisa recently worked with Christopherus to develop the handwork section for our newly updated First Grade Syllabus.

The project  featured here is suited to the intermediate knitter and would be an ideal handwork project for 4th, 5th or 6th graders.

 

Cabled Headband

It a good time of year to make something new and bright for the rest of winter! And learning a new skill like cabling can make the project go even faster.

Choose yarn that is wonderfully soft for this project, since it will be going over your ears. Also, for cables to really show up, smooth, even yarn is essential. Also, stay away from anything too fuzzy.

 Here are a sampling of cable needles:

You can also use a spare double pointed needle. I prefer the short bamboo cable needle. It has a very slight indentation in the middle to help hold the stitches on. I like the bamboo over the metal because the stitches stick to it! I like anything that keeps stitches from slipping off.

There are two cable stitches used in this pattern. They are two of the most basic cable stitches and these and variations of them are widely used in patterns. Here they are:

C4F

C4F is short for “do a cable stitch over 4 stitches and hold the first two stitches in the front”. To do this put half of the stitches (the first 2) onto the cable needle and hold them in the front.

Knit the next two stitches. Be sure not to let the yarn hang too loosely.

Knit the two stitches from the cable needle.

C4B

 C4F is short for “do a cable stitch over 4 stitches and hold the first two stitches in the back”. To do this put half of the stitches (the first 2) onto the cable needle and hold them in the back.

Knit the next two stitches. Again, be sure not to let the yarn hang too loosely.

Knit the two stitches from the cable needle.

This project is knit back and forth, increasing slightly to cover the ears, and then decreasing slightly to the original number of stitches and finished with ends sewn together. The stitch markers are used to delineate the twelve cable stitches in the center of the project.

Materials needed:

Approximately 75 yds of bulky weight yarn *

US 10 needles

Cable needle

Stitch markers

* This is to make a warm winter headband. Use lighter weight yarn in cotton or other fiber for a more decorative hair-holding headband.

 

Cast on 12 stitches, putting markers after first 3 and before last 3 stitches.

Row 1: K2, purl to marker, K6, purl to last 2 stitches, K2. This will be known as the “right side” (RS).

Row 2: K to marker, P to second marker, K to end. This is known as the “wrong side” (WS).

Row 3: K2, purl to marker, C4F, K2, purl to last 2 stitches, K2.

Row 4: Same as Row 2

Row 5: Same as Row 1

Row 6: Same as Row 2

Row 7: K2, purl to marker, K2, C4B, purl to second marker, K2

Row 8: Same as Row 2

Repeat Rows 1-8 adding increased stitches at the same time as described below.

Begin increasing in row 2 after you have worked the pattern two full times. This is the part that will widen to go over your ears. You can decide how wide you want it to be, but 5” is a warm width.

The increases will be before the marker and after the marker, one increase on each side, and they are made more easily on the wrong side as you can increase while knitting instead of purling.

Increase on even rows until it’s as wide as you want.

Continue working even until piece measures from the nape of your neck to the top of your head. Stretch it a little when you measure as wool can stretch out some when worn. 9” is probably enough (8” for a young child). It’s a good idea to put a safety pin in this row that marks the middle of the project. This way you can make sure that you decrease at the proper rate as you increased!

Keep working even until the piece, when folded with the safety pin at the fold, should begin to decrease to match the other side.

Decrease on even rows by K2tog before and after the marker, until you are back to 12 stitches.

Bind off and sew the ends together. Marvel at how cozy your ears feel!

If you would like to share your own photos of this project ( in proccess as well as completed headband ) we would love to feature them on the  Gallery of Homeschoolers' Work page of our webite. Simply email the photos as well as any comments to leigh(at)christopherushomeschool.org.

Thank you, Lisa, for sharing this project.

Warmly,

~ Leigh

Taking Some Time Off

I'm at an interesting point in my life: my sons are grown and have left home and now live back in the UK where they were born; my husband is about to be ordained as a Christian Community priest (the Church inspired by the work of Rudolf Steiner); and we are moving. And me? Well, aside from adjusting to these dramatic changes, I will turn 50 this year and feel that life is changing - not just for those near and dear to me, but for me as well.

This year was the first year in about 25 years that I haven't taught - either as a homeschooler, teaching my own children or classes for other homeschooled children or teaching high school or middle grades children. Or leading parent education groups. It felt strange at first, a real loss. But as the year progressed, I realized how tired I am, how in need of renewal. I see the need for a complete break.

And so for these next 6 - or maybe a few more - months I am officially taking a sabbatical. Just as a Waldorf teacher is meant to take a sabbatical after graduating his or her eighth grade class, after being with them for eight long years, I too need to step back from my "growing child" - Christopherus. And, just as a 14 year old going into high school continues to need guidance, she is at a different place than she was just a few short years earlier. So it is with Christopherus. In Christopherus' last few years we have taken on a full time employee (who has been joined recently by a part time employee); I have stepped back from consulting work; we no longer have a yahoo group or forum; and we are completing our curriculum. Our company supports two families economically. Big changes and new possibilities!

Christopherus has been in business since 2003 - in the years since then I have written - what? - twenty books plus plays plus enormous great tomes called syllabuses? Plus all the content on the website. And worked with clients over the phone. And held conferences. Oh yes - and taught my children and other children (did anyone mention raising a family and running a household too?!). I think I deserve a rest! And at what better time than during this juncture of so many life changes?

What does this mean practically? Well, one thing is that I will not be doing any writing. For all intents and purposes I will be incommunicado. Instead, dear Leigh (Leigh-in-the-Office as I often call her - hmmm...I like that, it makes her sound like an exotic flower!) will be at the helm, doing what she has been doing anyway for these past couple of years: answering all your inquiries, sending out orders, and generally keeping Christopherus running smoothly. In this regard, you all will notice no change. Where you will notice a change most obviously is in the newsletter and blog. Leigh will take these over while I am having my rest. And of course there will be no new publications during this time.

This is an exciting time - not just for me, but for Christopherus! For it is an opportunity for Leigh - and possibly a few others we have up our sleeves - to find her own voice, her own leadership position within Christopherus. If only I am able to set the agenda for Christopherus then the company surely has no future - if it is to thrive and grow, others must find their roles.

And what will I be doing during this time? A major part of my time will be devoted to finding my place within the Christian Community. I feel called to work within the Church. Work with children in one way or another is one possibility. Or perhaps something completely different. We shall see. I am also looking forward to Just Relaxing a bit - taking a real break from the day to day running of a company (and of looking after teens and also a husband who has been a student). I look forward to a new relationship with my sons and to a new relationship with my husband. How exciting to build a home with him that is not centered on the needs of children!

So, for now, I bid you all good bye. I look forward to my rest and to my life changes - and I also look forward to once again, in time, picking up the reins of Christopherus and seeing what new directions have opened during my absence.

Many blessings to you all on your homeschool journey!

Donna

Christopherus Questionnaire Feedback

A few months ago Christopherus conducted a survey, or questionnaire, amongst friends, clients and customers. People filled in an online form which we designed specifically so as to maximize individual feedback and minimize multiple choice questions. We wanted to know, in people’s own words, their thoughts about Christopherus and our work.

And the response was good. We were pleased by the number of respondents and by the relatively high proportion who took the time to thoroughly fill in their questionnaire and give us thoughtful, useful feedback. We heartily thank all of you who did that!

Response to our new Bookstore and to the website as a whole fell pretty evenly into two camps. Some of you love our look and think that our website is incredibly easy to navigate. But about as many of you do not like what our website looks like and get lost easily. So we’re kind of stuck there, not clear how to use such feedback. Both camps were almost unanimous in acknowledging how helpful, thorough and useful the content of the website is. That we can work with!

Our books and services got very good reviews – we like the words people used such as “professional”; “doable”; “user-friendly”; “deep”; “warm”; and “arising out of anthroposophy.” Those are all things we strive toward in our work!

A few people wished that all of our materials were available as components, in much the way that for second grade, for instance, one can purchase math, Animal Legends, and Saints & Heroes separately. While sympathizing with this desire, we have to point out that splitting up – or off – separate books only works sometimes in the curriculum. Second grade and fifth grade lend themselves nicely to this and so that is how we created the curriculum for those years. But third grade especially, for instance, cannot be packaged in this way because the flow and sense of the curriculum for that grade demanded that it be presented as a whole. There is so much overlap between Native American stories, weather studies, math and practical projects that to split it up would fragment the curriculum and compromise its integrity. And we simply cannot do that.

A good number of you expressed concern that the middle grades curriculum is not complete and seemed to be suggesting that you wished it was packaged like that of the earlier years. Many of you also want a Christopherus high school curriculum. Regarding the first, we have created the middle grades curriculum as a series of books (which will be added to over the years) because that is, in our opinion, the best way to meet the requirements not only of the middle grades Waldorf curriculum, but of the needs of homeschooled children of this age. Each of you will be homeschooling your child in a completely individual way during those years, depending on what is available in your community; what your child is interested in; and how you interpret the curriculum itself. We explain all of this more fully HERE where we also point out that this is the case in Waldorf middle schools as well, where differences are a lot more apparent than in earlier grades.

As for high school, again, we sympathize but….to create a full Waldorf high school curriculum is such a tremendous undertaking that few schools even attempt it! To do justice to such a project is, unfortunately, well beyond our means and would require a much larger Christopherus with a much bigger specialist staff. And…the demand for high school materials has been (at least in the past 8 years) very, very poor. We have carried a number of high school publications for those working with Waldorf education with their children of this age but we have sold only a pitiful few and will no longer even carry them.

What else..? Oh yes…a few of you asked very specific questions about shipping. The questionnaire was not designed to handle feedback and not all of you left email addresses…so if anyone has a specific question about shipping, please contact Leigh at the Christopherus office.

A request for going over to digital format, whether ebooks or similar, was expressed by a number of you. Obviously, this is of special interest to those of you outside the US as shipping costs can be prohibitive. But becoming more “screen-based” would be a big decision for us, not something we could contemplate without serious and in-depth conversation in our organization. While computers are wonderful tools – and there would be no Christopherus without computers – we are unwilling to contemplate transitioning from being book-based to being screen-based right now. There are too many complex considerations involving health, communication, teaching practices, business practices and spiritual integrity for us to do this without an awful lot of thought and consideration. So for now – and for probably quite a long time – our only ebook is our early years book which is very informal, not a teaching text, and which has no illustrations.

Once again, thank you to all of those who participated in our questionnaire! And a big congratulations to Emily in Ohio, Jill in Connecticut, and Katharine in Minnesota who were each picked in a random drawing for a $25 Christopherus gift certificate!

 Donna

Communication Blackout

My sons have left home. They are now 18 and 20 and live in England, which is where they were born.  They are tall, strong, articulate young men, deeply concerned with the inequalities and tensions of our current day. The elder seeks community-based political solutions and the younger is focused on the quality of human interactions in his everyday life.

And neither of them uses social media or even the computer or a phone very much. For me, this is hard as it can mean that I don't speak with them for weeks on end. But overall, because I see how it impacts their independence and their growth, I am very pleased.

For instance, the two of them hitch-hiked to France a couple of weeks ago. They were aiming for a particular city, and an event that was taking place there. They agreed that if they got separated, that they would meet in a particular park. And that is what happened. My older boy got lucky and got a ride all the way to his destination. The younger - as he told me a week later - had three days of "trials and tribulations". And so Daniel, the older boy, simply hung out in the park for three days, waiting for his brother to show up. Once there, they navigated an unknown city in an unknown language and found their way.

This probably sounds crazy to some people. Why not avail oneself of modern conveniences like GPS units and cell phones? Why have to take such chances and rely so heavily on....on other people. Which is what happened. During those three days in the park, Daniel found   people to pass the time with. He got to know a bit about the city and the culture. And he also relied on himself and his own inner resources.

This kind of life lesson is especially valable for  Gabriel, the younger boy. Here's a boy who has in the past refused to ask shopkeepers questions and described himself as 'timid' and 'shy'. Well, during those three days of trials and tribulations, he had to depend on himself, on what he could call up from deep within, to keep going. No one was going to do it for him.

Both boys had a wonderful experience concerning how to survive without communication tools several summers ago when we were on a bus taking us from La Crosse to St Paul. The GPS on the bus suddenly broke and the driver was completely helpless. There were paper maps in the vehicle but he was so used to using a GPS that he could not read them. Maybe he forgot how. Or, scarier still, maybe he had never learned how. So my husband went up to the front of the bus. He didn't especially know the way, but he knew west from east and that, for instance, Winona was in the right direction - and so directed the bus (and without even the aid of the paper maps for extra Brownie points!). Our boys were very impressed by this and over the years we have seen again and again how deeply this simple lesson in common sense and a rudimentary skill such as knowing how to read a map, influenced them.

Gabriel did have some preparation for these current adventures last summer when he spent a couple of months hitching around the UK and US. What was especially wonderful were his experiences with strangers, with people who extended help to this unknown boy. He had people drive out of their way to take him places; he had people buy him food; he had people (not scary ones) offer him a place to stay. And he got to hear the stories of mothers, veterans, people bored with work or looking for work, ex-hippies who used to hitch...all sorts of people.He got to experience a connection with other human beings in a way that many people, who stick only to those whom they know, never have.

Back to the use of cell phones, well, Gabriel did have one for a while. He had a girlfriend who insisted he get one so she could call him all the time. I can remember one notable evening when she texted him at least 20 times in the course of an hour. He was doing his homework (he was at school at this time) and every time she texted, he'd put down his work and read what she had written and usually respond. I was sitting across from him, knitting. Finally I said " what is the deal here?" Nothing, he responded. Just my girlfriend. So how about you focus on your homework and then when it's done,   you text her? Because of the way he'd been raised, he knew that a) this was a reasonable suggestion and b) I was not about to be fobbed off by " but that's what all the kids do". So we "entered into  negotiations". He could see that breaking one's focus and concentration repeatedly was simply not a good habit to cultivate - whether it was interrupting one's homework or something else in one's lfe. As a (mostly) homeschooled boy who valued long uninterrupted periods of focus on a particular interest, he knew from his own experience, how disorientating split concentration could be. And he didn't want that.

The end came, though when one night I went into his room to look for something and found him asleep with the cell phone, switched on, on the pillow next to his head. The next morning we had a long discussion about the health effects of cell signals. And I asked the question of why he needed to have the phone on like that. What it came down to was that his girlfriend was having some problems and that she "needed" to be able to contact him. Frequently. So I pointed out that if she was in trouble, she needed him in person, not via text. And that in the interim, both she and he needed to sleep and not be constantly at the mercy of such communication.

Well, that chapter of the cell phone story ended soon after because Gabriel and his girlfriend broke up. Most of his friends had cell phones but he was starting to become uncomfortable with how they were used. And besides, he had facebook.

But eventually, without me saying anything at all, Gabriel became uneasy about facebook. His brother eschewed social networking from the beginning, knowing how dangerous it is for internet companies to have all of one's data and  to also have such a potentially powerful tool at their ultimate control (witness the fact that the British PM contemplated blacking out facebook and twitter during the recent riots in the UK). But Gabriel only really got fed up with facebook when, once again, he saw how it affected his friends' relationships. He thought it weird and unnatural how one "friends" people whom one has never spoken with in the flesh and how people can post anything, including hurtful or misinformed information, one someone's page. He saw how his friends were affected by this and he saw how a few teens seemed to live for updates and messages on their page - but in real life had trouble socializing.

So he closed his facebook account - which was an eye opening experience for him as it is not possible to simply delete one's page. Facebook "saves" it for you "just in case". It took him three days of downloading special programmes to be able to override Facebook's possession of his personal information and finally be rid of it.

By now the cell phone had gone. Again, this was mainly because of what he observed around him. What bugged him most was how kids would arrange to get together - and then spend half their time communicating with other people on their cell phones!

That's the story of my media-free boys. They value human relationships in the flesh and they know how to handle themselves in difficult situations. How could I be prouder of them?

Respecting the Child

This piece was written in the middle of my guest appearance on the blog, "Catherine et les fees" so as to clarify and deepen some things which had come up during our conversation. A link to this thread is found at the bottom of the article. And by the way, if anyone wants to invite me to guest on their blog, do contact me donna (at) christopherushomeschool.org.

The issue of respecting a child, is so important and so woefully  misunderstood. Here we have a great example of "you mean one thing by this and I mean something totally different".  So I need to try to define terms a bit here.

Some people, especially those coming from AP or "gentle parenting" background may come from a place where listening to what the child says and basing one's actions on what s/he says are paramount. From a Waldorf perspective, it is also critical that one listen carefully to what a child says - but we - or let's just stick with what I think as it makes things a little less complicated as there are of course differences within Waldorf - so I would say yes, listening to  a child is important.  But sometimes what is not said is actually more important. Or what the child's developmental stage is saying. Or what lives behind those articulated words.

For instance, we have the example of a child who refuses to do her work - some people might just say oh, ok then, don't do it then. Others will say no, you must do it. Both positions could be wrong, and either could be right. It depends entirely on the context of the situation, which includes the child's age. So...if one is asking a child to do something which is beyond what she is developmentally ready to do, then it is quite reasonable that she refuses.And because she is just a child, she cannot say "Mom, I am not able to do this much writing because my left-right orientation isn't complete and it is too much of a stretch to do this". We might know that this is a possibility because we are adults. Our job is to understand enough about children and about this particular child so we can make that detterminations. We are not respecting that child if we expect her to be able to articulate her needs. For to do this, she must be self aware and self conscious and until she has reached and passed the nine year change, her natural stage on consciousness is NOT self aware and self conscious. To expect her to be so is to in effect say that her earliest stages of development are not as valid as her later ones.

Along the same lines, she might be testing you to see what you will do - and here things get very controversial because some people can think that by saying that children test adults I am saying that children are manipulative. Well, if by the word manipulative, we mean "conscious of what they are doing" (and I am speaking of young children here,though depending on the situation even teens - even adults unfortunately - can test another unconsciously) then no, of course not. But if by manipulating we mean "pushing one's buttons, seeing what happens" then of course they are manipulative - they are manipulating" things to see what happens and seeing where the power vacuum is. And it is really scary to be a child and to discover that there is a power vacuum, ie that an adult collapses in the face of a child's testing. And children can react in unexpected ways to this discovery  - some continue to push in a seeming attempt to push that adult into finally finding herself; some behave very badly; some go inward and become quiet and perhaps even prematurely self sufficient.

Children come to this earth not merely as less experienced adults - they do not spring as fully formed autonomous beings,  as Athena emerged from the head of Zeus. They are not merely less competent - they have entirely different ways of experiencing the world, have an entirely different consciousness than older children and adults. This is perhaps THE key to Waldorf education, what one needs to grasp if one wants to work meaningfully with its essence.

A great example:  I used to run a Waldorf parent/toddler group many many years ago. Most of the children were around 1 or 2 years old but we had one 3 year old who loved nothing better than playing with (and bossing around) the little ones. One day she decided to organize a game of hide and go seek. She looked around at the other children clumped adoringly around her and covered her eyes with her hands. "I'm hiding" she declared. And so she was. To her consciousness, because she could not see the others, then it followed that they could not see her.

This is not merely an example of "less experience" - it is clearly an example of "different consciousness." And this is what we MUST understand so that the zillions of questions we have as parents and educators can at least take a coherent shape. Without an understanding of how children experience the world, then it is hard to imagine how one can come up with any meaningful questions at all. One needs a basis for forming those questions, a framework of understanding to refer to so that then one is not merely doing what someone advises, but understanding for oneself what the advice (good or bad) springs from.

So back to the example above, of the child refusing to do her work, we listen to  what she says. We acknowledge what she says. Then we decide what to do. Maybe she has been working very hard and very diligently over the last days or weeks and so we say "Hmmmm....you don't want to do your writing. Let me shorten it a bit and then we'll finish our lesson and have an early snack after you copy that into your book."  We might say "Yes, you have been doing lots of writing. Let's take a break. fter snack you can draw a picture instead."

Or we might say to the child who is testing us "Nope. Gotta do that writing my lovely! No two ways about it!" We try a bit of lightness and warm but firm insistence. Tears might follow - that is good! The child is able to release her tension - that is so important and so right! So often parents  fear their child's strong emotions, thinking that it means they have done something wrong. On the contrary, it can mean one has done something right. Every human being experiences the tension between what they want to do and what they can, in a given situation, do. What a gift we give children if we let them experience that tension and then do not collapse in fear if they scream or cry but gently hold the space and do not get upset ourselves. This is not about us - it is about that child. It can be supremely selfish of us to take away the child's emotions and not let her experience them.

And of course this is fraught with dangers! Absolutely! One can easily list to the other side and become authoritarian. But that is the danger in every human encounter. For example: I have someone now who works for me - do I ask too much of her? Am I listening to her opinions? What happens when we disagree? Can we find ways to work together? And so on. Of course, the difference there is that we are speaking of two adults. So in that relationship, my  employee also has responsibilities - she has the responsibility to speak up, to make her thoughts known, to be take ownership of the balance between her life and her work and so on and so on.

With a child, the relationship is of course utterly different. And it is entirely understandable that parents do everything they can to not perpetuate the oppressive relationship that they might have had with their parents. Remember the story I told of the boy in the bull's pen? (On Catherine's blog I told the story of finding a child of about 5 poised to jump into a bull's pen at the intentional community where my family used to live.) Well, once I go to know his mother, I understood why she created no boundaries for her children - her father was an unbearable bully and ran his family like a military unit. So she swooped to the opposite extreme with her children. What was interesting there was how her two children reacted to her utter lack of boundaries and her desire to give those children "freedom": the daughter was one of the dreamiest non-focused, "out there" children I have ever met. She lived in her own world and seemed unable to cope with the one she had incarnated into. The little boy, on the other hand, was totally out of control, one of the naughtiest (and most wonderful) children I have ever worked with.

To finish, I want to share one last anecdote, this from a book by Corrie Ten Boom whose family worked hard during WW2 to save the lives of many Jews and were eventually destroyed themselves by the Nazis. Corrie tells a story of a train trip she took with her father. She was about 13 and asked her father a question about sex. He paused for a while and they sat in silence (that alone is something worth taking from this story as so often parents seem to think they must immediately always respond to the questions of their children without any time for distance or reflection). Then he said "When we get off the train, will you carry our bags?" Corrie said no, she couldn't possibly, they were too heavy for her. Then he solemnly said that the same was true for her question, that for now, its answer was too heavy for her to carry and that he would carry it for her until she was ready to carry it herself.

So - what do you think of that? Some undoubtedly might think how quaint and old fashioned - that children Need Information. Do they? Says who? I used to work with teen girls in a juvenile detention unit - they had all the information that anyone could wish for. Did that in any way at all stop them from acting foolishly (or  fearfully)? Nope. Not a jot. What those children had needed but did not get were adults willing to bear the load of being parents  and taking the full responsibility of carrying them until they were able to step out into life themselves. No amount of information could make up for the hole that was in those girls' souls.

Of course that is an extreme example - but do you see how it follows on? It is based in the thinking that children are simply less experienced younger people - no different from adults except that they are younger and do not know as much. Thus from that point of view it makes perfect sense to think that by giving information, children will then "be empowered" to make right decisions. One can see how people honestly think that this is respecting children - and of course from one point of view, it is. But in a larger context, in a context of understanding what it means to be a child, it is not. I do not dispute the loving compassion in the intentions - nevertheless, it remains highly problematic.

If only it were that simple!

And by the way, least anyone think I am some sort of 19th century throw-back that is against sex education, I should hasten to say that at the slightly Waldorf high school where I used to teach I led the "sex, drugs and rock'n'roll" class. But my emphasis was on human relationships - that of the teen to his/herself and to others. Information was given, but it was very much of secondary importance.

If what I have written here resonates with you, I encourage you to have a good look through my other blog posts on similar subjects. Here is the Blog Index.

And here is the link to our Bookstore where we sell a number of audio downloads that deal quite concretely with how to work with children in accordance with their developmental needs.

And here is a link to our early years ebook which is entirely based on conversations between me and mothers dealing with such subjects.

Lastly, here is the permalink to the thread on Catherine's blog so you can have a read of what prompted me to write this post!

 

Artistic Workbooks

I have frequently been asked to recommend art books to parents, not only to those who cannot (or think they cannot) draw but also to those who are familiar with artistic modes of expression but who would like, perhaps, to explore anthroposophical ideas of art.

I now have two books which I can recommend! Neither is for the beginner artist and neither is directly helpful with working with one's children. Having said that, it is of course very true that the more sensitive one becomes to the nuances of artistic expression, the more one evolves as an artist (especially if one thinks one is in no way artistic!), then the deeper and more meaningfully one can work with the Waldorf curriculum. So....have a look at these books and be brave - they might just help you stretch further than you thought you could!

The books are Dark and Light Drawing: 52 Exercises and Sweater of Rain: Gesture Stories. Both are by Laura Summer, an artist who lives and works in Upstate New York where she and others have founded the Free Columbia Art Course, whose mission it is to "provide an artistic course of study out of the inspiration of anthroposophy that seeks to promote culture and freedom." These and several other books are available from their website:   www.freecolumbia.org

The first title is a workbook, a series of drawing exercises in black and white which lead one through an exploration of darkness and light, of composition and balance. Laura gently questions and challenges one to explore  relationships to point and periphery, to gesture, mood and tone, building upon each previous experience as the exercises progress.

Sweater of Rain is not a workbook as such but it is an invitation to explore the mood and gesture of the festivals of Easter, Ascension, Michaelmas and Advent. Laura says:

In creating these stories I tried to see what the gesture of a season is. How is Advent different from Easter? What happens at Ascension? At Michaelmas? In creating paintings and block prints to accompany these stories I tried to bring the gesture of the season as it is revealed in the story to visual expression. You will not find illustrations here but rather visual experiences that may make you question, what gesture lives here?

The seemingly simple yet compellling artwork which Laura provides gives much food for thought and soul nourishment as one strives to find one's own relationship to the changing gestures of the seasons.